Love and sex: are they the same?
There are different kinds of love. There's love between friends. There's love between parents and children. Love for God. Love for country. Love for the people one helps, like a teacher's love for her students or an advocate's love for the people who benefit from her work. Love for a mentor or a coach. And there's a kind of love that's often linked to sex: the romantic love between a boy and a girl.
Does falling in love then also mean engaging in sex? If a boy and a girl fall in love with each other, is it expected that they do it? Is sex naturally where falling in love leads?
TEN REASONS WHY I SHOULD WAIT*
If anyone suggests you try sex,
here are some creative ways to respond.
I'm worth waiting for.
10. Real love – means respect, right time and responsibility. We can learn so much more about each other by agreeing to wait together.
9. Sex – is soooooo much different from love. Let’s start on love first. Having sex doesn’t prove I love him or he loves me. I don’t want to give in now and then regret my decision later. How would I feel if it’s just a one-night stand? I’d be so embarrassed and can’t deal with the pain.
8. Who I am – I’m still trying to figure out who I am. I don’t want to complicate that. Sex can be confusing. It can play with my heart and twist it inside out. I’ll leave the drama to the TV shows.
7. I have dreams – I want to be a journalist, a doctor, an artist, a flight attendant, a chef, etc. These skills take time and dedication. For now, I want to concentrate on school, build a career, and help out my family. I’m acting today to build my dream “tomorrow”.
6. Sex can wait – It’s a quick act, but can have lasting responsibilities. For now, I have enough responsibility in finishing school and then working to help myself and my younger siblings.
5. Be a better parent – I will be a better parent when I’m married and ready. I’m just not ready for the responsibility of being a parent now. How can I be a good mom when I’m just a kid?
4. Fun things to do – There are a lot of fun things to do while I still have few responsibilities. I love to talk about music, movies, fashion, and travel. I love to play sports, hang out with friends, and go to the mall. If I get pregnant, I’d be at home all the time changing diapers while my friends are out being teens. Or, I’ll always be out with my friends living a teen’s life while I leave my baby at home suffering from neglect or I make my own parents suffer by leaving my baby with them.
3. Girl time – I want to enjoy being with all my friends. I may want a boyfriend, but I also need my girl time. I also love to meet new people. If I got pregnant, there may not be much time for anyone but the baby. Besides, who wants to be too serious and “chained” to just one person now at my age?
2. I’m already cool! – There’s no need to prove it. My real friends stand behind me on this. We’re creative. We can stand up to any peer pressure if we stick together. Besides, there’s nothing cool about syphilis, gonorrhea, HIV or any other STD (sexually transmitted disease).
1. I’m worth it! – I’m a hip, smart girl. I see a good career and a happy family in my future. Holding on to my values makes me a stronger person. I’m worth the wait!
True Love Waits
Though it may not seem so at first reading, a little adjustment can make these ten reasons applicable to boys too. Because whether you're a girl or a boy, you're worth waiting for, and your future spouse is worth saving yourself for.
1. *"10 Reasons Why I Should Wait" is a flyer produced by the group Advocates for Youth or A4Y based on workshops they held with more than one thousand Filipino youths. It came out in the column of Rina Jimenez-David in the Philippine Daily Inquirer on 11 December 2005. We post it here with slight modifications: the italicized words were added by us.
2. The author asked her students to post their comments online after reading the post. The students invited their friends to read the post and comment too.